29.3.2025

[NO SUBJECT]

i have been repressing my feelings for so long.
as of recently, i've been having a lot of feelings and it makes me feel like a freak

i don't feel human at all, i really don't know what is wrong with me
i really hate those feelings you get when you like someone, it makes me feel like a creep
it overwhelms me so much to the point where i get extremely scared and scrapping my plans

i keep fucking up everything i am doing like what humans are supposed to do
and it disappoints and upset people, a lot

i couldn't interact with anyone, i mean literally anyone, normally.
i always fuck everything up during that and i hated it

i feel like my friends deserves someone better, not some kind of useless freak like me
who would cling onto them if he gets a chance, they really do